It’s the new year and many people are setting noble, lofty goals for themselves. Lose weight. Exercise more. Eat better. Kill all humans.
I’m taking a different approach this year by learning about spying, villainy, and evil-doing.
Instead of setting goals that I will undoubtedly abandon at the first call of “Who wants to go to Fat Heads for lunch?” I’m going to set goals that I think are reasonable and achievable. I’m not quite sure which way I want to go – lawful good or chaotic evil – so I’ll need to do a bit of research first.
Here are some of the books that I recommend or have been recommended to me by Amazon (thanks Amazon!).
How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style…
Archer is one of my favorite cartoons. Sterling Archer is (somehow) the world’s greatest secret agent and not unlike James Bond he has a certain flair for style (and debauchery).
Before reading the book you should be familiar with Archer’s voice and attitude otherwise the humor will be totally lost on you. Check out Archer on FX here.
How to be a Villain
I actually own this book but haven’t read it yet. Most likely because I haven’t set up a lofty New Year’s goal to read it. Once of my former bosses had it on his desk and it seemed like he was using it as an instruction manual.
Supervillainous!: Confessions of a Costumed Evil-doer
As anyone knows, if you’re going to be a supervillain you have to wear a costume. It should be elaborate and flashy but menacing and horrifying. All at the same time.
How to Rule the World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator
The Supervillain Field Manual: How to Conquer (Super) Friends and Incinerate People
Dictator’s Handbook: A Practical Manual for the Aspiring Tyrant
How to Be a Genius: A Handbook for the Aspiring Smarty-Pants
If you’re not a genius then how are you going to concoct elaborate, Rube Goldberg-esq plans to rule the world or save the day (depending on your inclination at the time)?
So You Created a Wormhole: The Time Traveler’s Guide to Time Travel
While not necessary for general spying, espionage, or evil-doing this book seems like it might come in handy several times in your career. What show doesn’t have some sort of time travel involved? When the characters get stuck in a plot hole they need a way to dig out and start over. Enter time travel.
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You
I have two cats so naturally they will be participating in my good, or evil, plans. However I think one of them is already way ahead of the curve in evilness. Bailie has been exhibiting several traits found in this informative book by Matthew Inman, more popularly known as “The Oatmeal”, for years.